I was on a plane that lost power in a storm and dropped in mid air before the pilots were able to correct the situation. Nothing news worthy, but enough to scare the anything out of you.
But those seconds that lasted a lifetime are forever burned into my brain. I remember everything about what was going on, even the guy across the aisle who started to rock back and forth praying out loud.
I remember being thankful that the plane was over water and that if we went down we wouldn't hurt anyone. I remember thinking about how I wouldn't get to watch my god daughter grow up. It made me so sad that I felt like my life was so incomplete. I never finished all of the goals I had made for myself.
I felt terrible for not being true to who I wanted to be and I vowed the second that plane touched down and we were clear to exit, that my life was going to be different.
It was hard leaving the airport, I was having a huge anxiety and panic attack, my best friend had to coach me over the phone for 45 minutes before I could muster up the strength to leave and head home.
It was an extremely hard week. I played it over and over on a loop reliving it. I had nightmares about it and for almost two years didn't step on board of a plane.
But In that two year span I accomplished a lot.
The first two weeks, I quit smoking, I quit drinking, I quit eating all the garbage food that was a norm to me. I managed to lose 20 pounds in three months.
I picked up my musical instrument I was so shy about and went and played an open mic for the first time and actually had some pretty solid compliments and applause.
I quit the job I had been at (which made me miserable despite the decent wages) and threw myself back into what made me the happiest I had ever been.
I ended up making better relationship choices. I ended up finding an amazing person (when I wasn't looking for one) and have been with that person ever since.
I suppose sometimes life can scare you back into living.
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